How to Answer the Supplemental Questions to the Common Application

Also known as the College Specific Supplement, the Supplemental Questions to the Common Application give students an opportunity to tell admissions officers exactly why they want to attend their school.

They also give schools the ability to differentiate themselves from other colleges and universities also using the Common Application (which is designed to be…”common”).

Here is a video tutorial on Youtube, click here to view How to Answer the Supplemental Questions on the Common Application if you are not able to see the video below.

Answering UC Essay Prompts 1 & 2

Danielle Bianchi, author of the Personal Statement Blueprint

Danielle Bianchi has been helping students write their best personal statements for their college applications for over 10 years. She works one on one with students in person and via Skype to prepare them for the entire college admission process.

Click here to learn how you can write a memorable college admission essay quickly and easily.

How Not To End Your Personal Statement Essay

How Not to End Your Personal Statement

Endings can often be as difficult to write as beginnings of essays.  Many students feel they need to end their personal statement essay with a standard conclusion, some sort of summary to their story.  Still others feel they need to overcompensate for a poorly written essay by using some dramatic last paragraph or sentence.  On the flip side, writers can actually give up at the end and the essay sort of collapses.  My favorite, or least favorite I should say, are the essays that end with a catchy zinger—because the writer thinks the reader will remember him/her more if the ending is funny or cliché.

Here are some examples of how NOT to end your essay:

1. And that is why I feel that tigers should not be kept in zoos.  Don’t you agree?
2. The Fijian people are a very happy people and no one should change that.
3. It was the simple act of a kid’s smile that gave me a life lesson that I will never forget and constantly keep in the back of my mind.
4. This attitude change has led me to success in the last few years.
5. Contributing to the greater good of the community has been one of the best things I have learned in my life and I know that I could bring this quality and passion to the University of _______.
6. Now it’s time to take the next logical step much like a math problem – college.
7. This was truly the most amazing day I’ve ever had in my life. Ever.
8. That is why I feel I will never have a boring moment at your school and my time in college will
   leave a lasting imprint on my life.
9. All of these factors will enable me to complete an education full of my goals and passions.

These endings are a complete turn off to the reader.  If anything, they’ve left the reader with a worse taste in his/her mouth than when the essay started. They all have the common problem of TELLING the reader instead of SHOWING the reader what happened to them.

Danielle Bianchi, author of the Personal Statement Blueprint

Danielle Bianchi has been helping students write their best personal statements for their college applications for over 10 years. She tutors students in person and via Skype to prepare them for the entire college admission process.

Learn how to write your personal statement quickly and easily with the Personal Statement Blueprint.

Many students are quite interested in applying to one or many of the campuses within the University of California system (or the “UC system” for short).  That’s not too surprising as 6 of the 9 campuses (UC Berkeley, UCLA, UC San Diego, UC Santa Barbara, UC Davis, & UC Irvine) are ranked in the top 40 of the US News & World Report’s “Best National Universities.”  The UC system has always had one main application that all the campuses share.  Incoming freshmen must respond to two essay prompts on the UC application in order to apply for undergraduate admission.  Each applicant must respond to both essay questions within a maximum of 1000 words total.  These words may be allocated as the student wishes as long as the shorter one is greater than 250 words.

Assuming this makes sense to you, I’d like to discuss the two prompts, what they’re asking the student, and how best to respond to them.  Here are the two questions:

1. Describe the world you come from — for example, your family, community or school — and tell us how your world has shaped your dreams and aspirations.
2. Tell us about a personal quality, talent, accomplishment, contribution or experience that is important to you. What about this quality or accomplishment makes you proud and how does it relate to the person you are?

When my students read these prompts, they usually look dumbfounded and then start to slowly ask all the questions that come into their heads.  Because these questions tend to be repeated each year with my new set of students, I thought you might benefit from some of the answers.

“There are too many words in this essay question.”

Anytime an essay question confuses you, break it down into parts so that you understand everything it’s asking.  The writers of these essay questions usually add words and ideas that they think will help the student start brainstorming.

“What’s a prompt?”

A prompt is an essay question.

“What is #1 really asking?”  “Describe my world?”

To summarize, #1 is really asking WHO WILL YOU BECOME?  It wants to know how your surroundings—the people or the environment–have helped shape who you want to become.  Often students can relate to this one by thinking about why they have chosen a certain path—Why have they decided to study a certain major and want to become an engineer, a doctor, a psychologist, a social worker, a business executive, an English teacher, a politician or a church leader?  What/Who made them want to become an athlete, an artist, a singer, a cook, a journalist?

What is #2 really asking?”

To summarize, #2 is really asking WHO ARE YOU NOW?  It wants to know how some experience or quality or characteristic really describes who you are.  Here you want to show a personality trait through an anecdote.  This one will be more related to your personal statement on other applications.

 “Tell us about a talent?”  “I thought I’m not supposed to TELL anything Danielle—You say to SHOW it.”

You’re right.  You don’t want to spend time in an essay TELLing anyone who you are.  That is why they followed up that question with “…how does [this quality, talent, accomplishment] relate to the person you are?”  They want you to describe the type of person you are by through SHOWING them through example.

“This sounds like they want a laundry list of things.”

No, the UC (or any college for that matter) does not want a laundry list of all your extracurricular activities.  Save those for the right section on the application.

“How am I supposed to choose which one is longer and which is shorter?”

Generally, one essay can become your personal statement for other applications.  Since almost all personal statements on other applications give you a 500-600 word count limit, make this one your longer one. Your other one would be around 300-400 words.

“Should I write two 500 word essays or one long and one short?”

You can allocate the words as you wish.  In my experience, students have chosen one to be 500-600 words and one to be 300-400 words.

“If I’ve already written my personal statement, can I use it for one of these answers?”

Yes see above.

UC Prompt Tips

In the past, the UC application has been very difficult to navigate and even more difficult to locate the essay questions.  In recent years, however, they have really turned this around and students can read a page about the prompts, review tips for writing, and watch a YouTube video.  Here is the website: http://www.universityofcalifornia.edu/admissions/how-to-apply/personal-statement/index.html

Danielle Bianchi, author of the Personal Statement Blueprint

Danielle Bianchi has been helping students write their best personal statements for their college applications for over 10 years. She tutors students in person and via Skype to prepare them for the entire college admission process.

Learn how to write your personal statement quickly and easily with the Personal Statement Blueprint.

Help for personal statement newbies!

When I first meet with families and students, they always ask about the college essay, aka “the personal statement.”  Fears and questions run the gamut.  Some students elude topic altogether and are in denial that they will need to write one.  Others just have no idea how to start writing.  Here are some examples of common questions I may receive and my usual responses.  Perhaps these questions and fears may sound familiar to you?

“How important is the personal statement?”

Well, for some schools, it’s the most important part of the application.  Particularly if the college(s) you like don’t offer interviews or a chance for teachers to write recommendation letters, then the personal statement becomes the school’s one way to get to know you apart from your grades and scores.  The bottom line is that this is your best opportunity to show the admissions officers and readers a little something about yourself that they cannot find in the application.  You decide what you will write about.  Don’t take the personal statement lightly.

“Do the colleges really read the essay?”

Yes, I am inclined to say that all colleges and universities read the essays.  Many spend a good amount of money hiring readers during the application “season.”  They wouldn’t want to waste your time asking for an essay if they weren’t going to read it.  You should not be spending time and energy trying to figure out how to circumvent the system, spend your time doing the best job you can on your application and essay.

“What if the choice to write the essay is “optional” for a college I like?”

Well, as I always tell people, your competition is writing the optional essays, sending the optional scores, and doing everything above and beyond what is asked.  If this is your first choice, make them know it.  Just like you’d do everything you could to get a good job, do the same for your college(s).   Again, this is a great opportunity for you to stand out from the crowd.  Use every one of these opportunities to your advantage as there are not many!

 “I haven’t really done anything worth writing about.”

Some of the essays I’ve read and loved have not been about a particular activity.  One student wrote about her red hair (& got into her funny Irish heritage and spunky demeanor).  Another wrote a great essay about gardening with his dad.  Others have written about a photograph or painting or advice they’d been given.  This is not about finding the most admirable story or showing that you are better than everyone else.

“If I’m an athlete, I should write about sports right?”

Actually the answer is probably the opposite.  Admissions offices know by your resume, your medals/ribbons, your awards, and your extracurricular activities that you’re an athlete.  They actually may find it quite refreshing if you DON’T write about that sport.  They know you spend most your life in the pool/on the field/in the gym.  Show them who you are outside of the sport.  This is your chance to show them that you are not “just a jock.”  Show them that you are not one dimensional.

“If I’m really into drama, I should write about my favorite play, right?”

Same answer as the athlete.  If you’re into drama/art/music, it will show from your resume.  Most schools will ask you about your favorite extracurricular activity.  Save your Fine Arts/Athletic response for that one if you must write about it.  Use your personal statement to show what type of person you are.

“How do I write a personal statement without sounding like I’m bragging about myself?”

Your personal statement is not the place to list activities or list (TELL) personality traits or explain awards.  Again, this is your one chance to SHOW your personality through an anecdote or two.  Use this time to give the admissions officers a way to know you, a way for you to become 3-dimentional.  This is the most important concept that I can teach my students, we are showing not telling…there is a huge difference.  Think about this until you are sure you understand it and then work on your first draft.  Read your draft and see if you were able to pull it off.

Danielle Bianchi, author of the Personal Statement Blueprint

Danielle Bianchi has been helping students write their best personal statements for their college applications for over 10 years. She tutors students in person and via Skype to prepare them for the entire college admission process.

Click here to learn how you can write a memorable college admission essay quickly and easily.

Don't make these mistakes when filling out your college admission application!

Each year my students tend to fall for the same mistakes when filling out college applications.  Because the UC, Common Application, and many others have not yet revealed their 2011-2012 Fall application, I will base these mistakes on past years’ applications.  Most will still apply for the next application season, do don’t you get caught making the same mistakes!

Adding wrong test scores

Some students will write the wrong scores or use the pull down menu on the online application incorrectly.   Many students will even add scores that are lower than what they have on their AP, SAT, ACT, or SAT Subject tests.  Of course the schools will receive your official scores from the College Board or the ACT, but this is the first thing they see on your application, so make it right.  When it comes to AP tests, many schools won’t require the AP scores until you decide to go to their school.  So make sure these scores are written correctly on your application!  I once had a student write a “3” when she got a “4” which is a big difference when it comes to placing out of a college course.  (4’s and 5’s tend to be the only scores which can place a student out of an entry level course in college).

UC Scholarship section

In the past, the UC application has given the student an option to check boxes for possible scholarships.  I promise, there will be a lot of boxes that pertain to you.  Don’t skip this section. This is potentially a chance for you to get free money from alumni!

The Activity Resume

The UC and some other applications have students divide their activity resume into sections.  Try to have something written in most of these sections.  Obviously don’t make up anything, but if you have an activity that could work across a few sections like Educational Prep Program or Volunteer Work or Extracurricular Activity and you’re heavy in one section and have nothing in another, then divide them up a bit.

Odd Symbols

Many student essays, once they’ve been cut and pasted onto the online application, show up with odd formatting.  This is usually because people have indented or put dashes or used italics.  These don’t transfer into the applications very well.  I’d advise you not to use dashes & italics in your essays & activity resume.  Instead of indenting to signify a new paragraph, just press return and have a space between paragraphs.

Essay versions

Make sure you upload your most recent version of your essay!  You’ve most likely gone through multiple editions of your essay with me or on your own.  I have found that students mistakenly upload an old version that didn’t have the corrected grammar or vocabulary or punctuation.  Make sure your final version is your polished version.

Quick Takes

In the past, some schools like Claremont McKenna, Stanford, Princeton, and the University of Southern California have asked the applicant for some “quick takes,” “fun facts,” or short phrase answers.  Here are a few:

• Best adjectives to describe you:When you’re asked for some adjectives to describe you, email your best female friend, best male friend, and someone in your family who knows you best.  Write down your own adjectives, but then see how they compare to the others you receive from friends and family.  Perhaps you can find a few more interesting ones by doing this exercise.  Otherwise, some people use a thesaurus if their adjective sounds too “plain.”
• For the “favorites” questions below, try to be really creative with your response.  Try to be as specific as possible to really separate yourself from the other students who might write the same answer.  Here are some examples:
  • Favorite food?A very common answer I hear each year is: “steak,” “pasta,” “salad,” “frozen yogurt.”  At least explain what kind of steak—from your mom’s kitchen or a specific restaurant.  “Grandma’s steak au poive” or “steak at team dinner” gives a little more of a story than just responding “steak.” “Mom’s Fusilli with Mushrooms” is a better answer than “pasta.” “Salad” leaves us wondering.  What type of salad—Chef? Greek? Cobb? One you make?  “Frozen Yogurt” could be anyone. “Strawberry-Vanilla swirl with rainbow sprinkles” shows us a little pizazz.
  • Favorite Activity for FunIf it’s hiking, biking, walking, swimming, yoga, etc…explain where, when and with whom just to give a little bit more about you.
  • Greatest inventionIf it’s the phone, camera, computer, calculator or car, just know that everyone else said that too.  I’m wagering that “Facebook” will take the most generic response this year.

As always, when it comes to all these common mistakes, the best advice is to start your applications early so that you aren’t careless.  The more time you have, the more thorough and creative you can be.

Danielle Bianchi, author of the Personal Statement Blueprint

Danielle Bianchi has been helping students write their best personal statements for their college applications for over 10 years. She works one on one with students in person and via Skype to prepare them for the entire college admission process.

Click here to learn how you can write a memorable college admission essay quickly and easily.

Personal Statement Essay Structure

Formatting your personal statement is easy!

Many students fail to understand that there really should not be a structure or format to their personal statement essays.  Students feel they should write an essay using the standard 5 paragraph format they use for their English papers or their SAT/ACT essays.  They want to use an introduction that ends in a straightforward thesis statement, has 2-3 body paragraphs to back up the thesis, and then a conclusion.  Other students believe they need to have the first paragraph set the scene for the reader…before they really get to writing.  Still others feel they need to end the essay with a standard summary of their feelings or summary of their experiences.

As I’ve said before: Throw formatting out the window!

The best personal statement essays really have no structure at all.  That’s what makes them more unique.  That’s what makes them more memorable.  These essays may use narrative or quotes.  They may have a line or two in a paragraph and then a much longer paragraph that follows.  They may have a one worded sentence just to emphasize a point or be more deliberate.  In all cases, the best personal statements just do a really good job at SHOWING the reader instead of TELLING the reader who they are.

NOTE: This article is Part II of How to Format Your Personal Statement.  You can follow this link to read Part I, “Personal Statement Essay Format.”

Danielle Bianchi, author of the Personal Statement Blueprint

Danielle Bianchi has been helping students write their best personal statements for their college applications for over 10 years. She works one on one with students in person and via Skype to prepare them for the entire college admission process.

Click here to learn how you can write a memorable college admission essay quickly and easily.

Personal Statement Samples from the Personal Statement Blueprint

Following up on examples of how to begin and end your personal statement, I wanted to post another great beginning and ending from one of my private counseling students.

BEGINNING

I am not scared of heights, crowds, closed spaces, spiders, or snakes.  My pulse hardly quickens when I get up on stage in front of hundreds of people and speak, sing, or act.  But for a year every Saturday my palms would start sweating in anticipation of Sunday afternoon at 2:30.

At the time I had played the bassoon for four years.  I practiced occasionally and managed to put up with all the harassment one gets for playing the bassoon (Is that a baboon, bazooka, or buffoon?  Is somebody farting or is that a dying duck?)  I had played in beginning and intermediate youth orchestras for most of my career as a bassoonist, but nothing prepared me for the California Young Symphony (CYS).  I had auditioned against the will of my teacher who thought I would not handle such a serious orchestra.

ENDING

…My senses seemed to shut down and leave everything up to my fingers.  Thankfully my fingers knew the passage cold.  When the piece was over, I stood (with only a little difficulty) at the beckon of Mr. Eylar’s stick and received the applause from the audience.  I had played well and almost enjoyed the experience.  I was no longer that nervous bassoon player.  I was becoming a musician.

This year in CYS, we are playing Rimsky-Korsakov’s Sheherezade.  As a result of more maturity and practice, the music makes sense to me.  It has a passionate story behind it that I must communicate to the audience.  For the first time I am making black ink on paper come alive.  The cumbersome reed and the difficult fingerings no longer get in the way.  The bassoon robbed me of my confidence but has returned it doubled.

Plagarism

Now, it goes without being said that copying someone else’s work is a no-no.  Not only are you selling yourself short, you are setting yourself up for defeat.  Trust me when I say that school admissions officers are smarter than you think.  It is very easy to use a service like Copyscape to find copied text….in seconds.  So, do yourself a favor and do your own work.

Danielle Bianchi, author of the Personal Statement Blueprint

Danielle Bianchi has been helping students write their best personal statements for their college applications for over 10 years. She works one on one with students in person and via Skype to prepare them for the entire college admission process.

Click here to learn how you can write a memorable college admission essay quickly and easily.

Sample Personal Statements

How to Begin & End Your Essay

Sometimes it’s easier to understand how to write a personal statement by reading through some good examples.  I am not giving these 3 examples so that anyone can use them for themselves.  This is just a good way to see how the lessons you’ve learned can be put to use.

BEGINNING:

All I could do was cry.  I couldn’t move.  I couldn’t think.  My hands gently glided over the letters etched into the granite stone.  I traced the distinctive letters and spelled out the names. The water was chilling and was beginning to numb my fingers.  Tears rolled down my face as the water streamed over the fountain.  I was sobbing uncontrollably as I cried like no one was watching me.

I had never been interested in the Civil Rights Movement during my first two years in high school.  I thought that it was something of the past.  I skimmed over the pages about civil rights in my textbook.  Then, I was presented with the most important opportunity of my life.  Sojourn to the Past is a ten day program that allows students to travel throughout the South, visit historical sites, and listen to speakers who witnessed the Civil Rights Movement.  I decided to go on the trip because I wanted to travel, and I felt that I should seize such a unique opportunity.

ENDING:

I realize I learn most effectively when I have firsthand experiences.  Hands-on experiences like these remind me of how our emotions help us retain information.  Because I felt spiritually connected to where I was, I was able to let the information sink into my skin. It was on this trip that I realized not only what type of student I am, but also what type of person I can be.  The best way for me to learn is to be more involved in the curriculum and allow it to touch all five of my senses.

This past October, I was chosen by the Sojourn leader to speak to a group of prospective students for next spring’s trip.  I was honored not only to speak on behalf of my group, but also to have the chance to share an opportunity that meant so much to me. I knew that this trip would have a huge impact on their life, and I was glad to know that my passion for this experience was transparent.

Danielle Bianchi, author of the Personal Statement Blueprint

Danielle Bianchi has been helping students write their best personal statements for their college applications for over 10 years. She works one on one with students in person and via Skype to prepare them for the entire college admission process.

Click here to learn how you can write a memorable college admission essay quickly and easily.

How to Begin Your Essay

How Not to Begin

Many students get stuck trying to figure out how to begin their personal statement essay.  They feel they should write an essay using the standard 5 paragraph format they use for their English paper or their SAT/ACT essays.  They want to use an introduction that ends in a straightforward thesis statement, has 2-3 body paragraphs to back up the thesis, and then a conclusion.  Other students believe they need to have the first paragraph set the scene for the reader…before they really get to writing.

Do not use a specific format when writing your personal statement essay.  Throw formatting out the window!

Here are some examples of how NOT to start your essay:

1. During the summer between my 9th and 10th grades, I took a trip with 50 other students from around the United States.  We all flew on a plane together to Washington, D.C. and had a really great trip together.
2. Throughout the last few years of my life, certain qualities such as integrity and honor, and acting for the good of the community have become ingrained in my personality.  I feel that I could bring these great qualities to the University of _______.
3. Each different thing I choose to become in my life determines how happy I am. I went through a very long and stressful thought process in determining my path because I wasn’t sure if it would make me happy. I got to this point in my decision because of my love for creativity, imagination, and painting.
4. Out of the many cultural differences I have encountered throughout my life, the one that I have learned the most from is my experience with _______ program.
5. Without a doubt the most influential person in my life has been and is my grandmother, Gigi.  My relationship with her has been a life-long one in which I have learned to love and embrace life through her teachings, which have given me the ability to love, focus on the present, and never give up.
6. The craziest thing happened to me last Labor Day weekend.  When my family and I packed our bags for the east coast, like we do every Labor Day, little did we know what was really going to happen to us.
7. I thought I knew what pain was until I really felt it when I broke my arm during a basketball game.  I was supposed to be the starting point guard and the captain of my team.

As the reader, we see this beginning and know that the whole essay will TELL us who the student is instead of SHOW us who he/she is.  We also know exactly what to predict.  Remember these admissions officers read thousands of essays.  You can imagine what they think when they get an essay that basically says: “this is what I am going to write about and these are my reasons why.”

Danielle Bianchi, author of the Personal Statement Blueprint

Danielle Bianchi has been helping students write their best personal statements for their college applications for over 10 years.  She works one on one with students in person and via Skype to prepare them for the entire college admission process.

Click here to learn how you can write a memorable college admission essay quickly and easily.